my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize