I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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