i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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