what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
