Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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