yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize