Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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