dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Actions speak louder than pants.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
