You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize