It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
