Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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