We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
