we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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