Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
