I feel great
I just peed on a car
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I want a musical about memes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
