I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
