The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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