So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
