i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize