If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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