this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
