i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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