You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
