I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
