Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
