if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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