The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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