I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
