We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
