I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He shit in the fireplace
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
