Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
