i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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