Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
