I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize