After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
