so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
