nut hugger
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
