Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
