I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
