no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
