Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
