Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
