Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
