wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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