I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
