Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
