Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This house was built for laser tag.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
