Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize