He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
