i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize