Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
