p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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