Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
