a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
