it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Porn is love you can see.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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