i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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