Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize