Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize