when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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