I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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