Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
